BIRTHING AGAIN
"Your previous birth gets to be part of your story, but it doesn't get to write this chapter."
To the Woman Preparing for Birth Again,
If you're reading this, I'm guessing you've spent at least one night Googling statistics and feeling less than amazing.
Maybe you've read every VBAC article on the internet.
Maybe you've joined countless Facebook groups.
Maybe you've cried in the shower and in the car wondering if your body can do this.
Everyone around you has an opinion about your body and that knowingness sucks.
Maybe your first birth still hurts to think about.
Or maybe it doesn't hurt at all—you just know deep in your bones that this time you want something different.
Whatever brought you here, I'm glad you're here. Walking women through redemptive births is one of my life’s greatest joys.
I want you to know something before we go any further:
You do not have to earn a vaginal birth.
You do not have to prove your worth through any birth outcome.
You do not have to heal your previous birth by achieving a certain result. In fact if we are going to work together, this story doesn’t belong to your past story at all. It will be its own story no matter how it unfolds.
Your body is not broken. Did you hear me? You didn’t do anything wrong and your body isn’t broken and you can tell everyone to F off.
Your cesarean was not a failure. It was a cesarean. Let’s not give it more power than that.
And this pregnancy gets to be its own story.
Over the last two decades, I have walked alongside thousands of families through pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum. More than 200 of those births have been VBACs. I've supported parents after breech babies, failed inductions, fetal distress, stalled labors, emergency cesareans, repeat cesareans, and births that left deep emotional scars. Ironic right. When a stat says a doula reduces the prevalence of birth trauma. Well I am here to say that many of my clients have had traumatic births and that sucks. But it’s definitely not their fault or mine or their doulas fault. Likely it was our healthcare system that failed you while labeling it as saving you. I mean maybe they did save you and save your baby. But my experience has earned me the right to say those stories are rare….more often…you were failed and not the other way around.
I've also watched those same parents discover confidence they didn't know they had before the birth plan blew up.
I've watched fear slowly loosen its grip.
I've watched people walk into labor carrying doubt and walk out carrying a completely different story about themselves.
Not because they achieved a certain birth outcome.
Because they discovered their own strength.
This guide is everything I wish every parent preparing for birth again knew.
So grab a cup of tea (but not red raspberry).
Put your feet up.
And let's talk.
but…..
Before We Talk About Birth
One of the first things I ask parents when they come to me preparing for a VBAC is, "Tell me about your last birth."
Not because I'm trying to figure out what went wrong.
Not because I'm looking for trauma.
I ask because your previous birth experience often has a lot to do with how you're feeling about this pregnancy.
Sometimes parents come in feeling excited and confident. Sometimes they come in carrying a lot of fear. More often than not, it's a little bit of both.
Maybe your cesarean was planned and everything went according to plan, but you're curious about what a vaginal birth might look like this time.
Maybe your cesarean was unexpected and happened after a long labor. Maybe it felt chaotic. Maybe it felt peaceful. Maybe you still have questions about why certain decisions were made.
Maybe you felt completely supported by your team.
Maybe you didn't.
There isn't a right or wrong way to feel about your last birth.
What I've learned after years of attending births is that two people can have almost identical birth experiences and walk away feeling completely different about them. Birth is about more than what happened medically. It's also about how you experienced it.
Before we spend time talking about VBAC statistics, providers, labor positions, or creating a plan for this baby's birth, I think it's important to understand the story that brought you here.
What parts of your last birth are you proud of?
What parts still feel unresolved?
What would you like to experience differently this time?
Those answers matter.
Not because we can change the past, but because they help us build a path forward.
And honestly, sometimes nobody has ever really asked.
So before we talk about this birth, let's start with your story.
A Note From Heidi
One of the most common things I hear is:
"I feel like my body failed me."
Friend, I want you to borrow my belief until you can build your own.
Your body did not fail.
You and your baby made it through.
And now you get another opportunity to write a new chapter.
What the Evidence Actually Says
Let's start with something reassuring.
Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean is not unusual.
It's not reckless. It’s no longer reserved for homebirth.
It's not something reserved for a lucky few.
Many parents who attempt a Trial of Labor After Cesarean (TOLAC) go on to have a vaginal birth.
But here's something I think is even more important than the statistics:
Statistics describe groups of people.
They do not predict your birth.
You are not a percentage.
You are not a study.
You are not a number.
You are an individual with a unique body, a unique baby, and a unique story.
That means we can use evidence to guide us without allowing statistics to define us.
Throughout this guide you'll notice that I talk a lot about preparation.
That's because preparation is one of the few things we can control.
We cannot control exactly how labor unfolds.
But we can absolutely prepare our minds, our bodies, our support systems, and our understanding of the process.
And that preparation matters.
The Four Pillars of Preparing for Birth Again
At Birth Story Boutique, we focus on four areas.
Not because they guarantee a certain outcome.
Because they help families feel stronger, calmer, and more confident.
1. Education
Fear loves uncertainty.
The more you understand labor, interventions, decision-making, and birth physiology, the less intimidating labor often feels.
Knowledge doesn't eliminate fear.
But it frequently shrinks it.
2. Movement
Babies are active participants in birth.
The pelvis moves.
The baby moves.
You move.
Movement creates comfort.
Movement creates opportunity.
Movement often creates confidence.
3. Support
Nobody should have to navigate labor alone.
Not emotionally.
Not physically.
Not mentally.
Support matters.
Whether that support comes from your partner, your doula, your provider, your family, or all of the above.
4. Trust
This is the hardest one.
Trust is built one small step at a time.
One walk.
One appointment.
One question.
One deep breath.
One moment of choosing hope over fear.
How We Prepare
Over the years I've learned that preparing for birth again is about so much more than labor day.
It starts months before contractions begin.
Together we focus on:
Understanding Your Previous Birth Story
What happened?
Why did it happen?
What might be different this time?
What fears are still lingering?
What strengths did you discover?
Pelvic Mechanics
One of my favorite topics.
Through advanced education with Spinning Babies, MamasteFit, Bundle Birth, and years of hands-on labor support, I've learned how profoundly movement and positioning can influence comfort and confidence in labor.
We talk about:
• Daily movement
• Resting positions
• Walking
• Birth balls
• Peanut balls
• Partner support
• Labor positions
• Creating space for baby to navigate the pelvis
Birth Partner Preparation
Your partner deserves to feel prepared too.
We work on practical comfort measures, communication, encouragement, and helping your partner become an active participant instead of a nervous observer. Our childbirth class is 1111/10 (just sayin).
Nervous System Regulation
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is learning how to feel safe in your body.
Breathing.
Relaxation.
Visualization.
Connection.
Rest.
These aren't extras.
They're part of birth preparation and classes.
Daily Movement for Birth Preparation
Think of these as small deposits into your birth preparation account.
You don't need perfection.
You don't need to do everything.
Consistency matters far more than intensity and we hold you accountable AF.
Daily Walk
10–30 minutes.
Hip Circles
On a birth ball or standing.
Cat-Cow Stretch
Gentle movement for your spine and pelvis.
Deep Breathing
Five minutes.
Every day.
Side-Lying Release
If recommended by your provider or birth professional.
Rest
Rest is productive.
Rest is preparation.
Rest counts.
Gentle Reminder
You do not need to become a fitness influencer to prepare for birth.
A few intentional minutes each day can make a meaningful difference.
Questions Worth Asking Your Provider
One of the most empowering things you can do is build a relationship with a provider who welcomes questions.
Consider asking:
• What is your experience supporting VBACs?
• How do you support physiologic labor?
• How do you approach induction with a TOLAC?
• What circumstances might lead you to recommend a repeat cesarean?
• How do you feel about doulas?
• What does shared decision-making look like in your practice?
• How do you support informed consent?
• What options are available if labor unfolds differently than expected?
Mom Tip (because I am a mom and a doula so I actually can’t help but mother you!)
Pay attention to how the answers feel.
Do you feel respected?
Do you feel heard? Do you feel seen?
Do you feel like a partner in your care?
Are you excited for your next visit to see this person and/or practice?
Trust your instincts.
Resources I Love and Use:
The VBAC Link
A wonderful source of encouragement, stories, and evidence-based education and I took their VBAC Doula training too!
Evidence Based Birth
Research explained in a practical and approachable way.
ICAN
International Cesarean Awareness Network.
Birth Story Podcast (Ok I am the host but dang I have interviewed a ton of VBAC mamas with positive birth stories)
Positive birth stories.
Hospital births.
Home births.
VBACs.
Repeat cesareans.
Stories that remind us there is more than one beautiful way to give birth.
What I Wish Every Parent Preparing for Birth Again Knew
I wish you knew that birth is not a test.
I wish you knew that your body is not a machine.
I wish you knew that labor does not require perfection.
I wish you knew that fear and courage can exist in the same room.
I wish you knew that hope is not naïve.
Hope is powerful.
I wish you knew that healing doesn't always look the way we expect it to.
Sometimes healing looks exactly like the birth you imagined.
Sometimes healing arrives in an entirely different package.
I wish you knew that your worth has never been tied to how your baby enters the world.
Not before labor.
Not during labor.
Not after labor.
You do not owe anyone a vaginal birth.
You do not owe anyone a perfect birth.
You do not owe anyone a particular story.
You only owe yourself compassion.
Grace.
And the freedom to approach this birth with curiosity instead of fear.
Most of all, I wish you knew this:
You are already enough.
Right now.
Before labor begins.
Before a single contraction starts.
Before any outcome exists.
You are already enough.
So Friend,
By now you've probably realized this guide isn't really about VBAC.
Not entirely.
It's about trust. And if you are here to hire a doula, the most important thing you can do is hire a doula you feel like you can trust. That may or may not be someone on my team. But, your doula is not here to earn her keep. She is not here to save you or change you. She is not equipt to be quietly judged at the end wondering if you are asking yourself if she had done enough. This journey is about YOU and not HER and sometimes when we come to birth with unresolved trauma and unresolved story telling, then we re-direct elsewhere. This makes taking on VBAC clients a lot of pressure if the person looking to hire us doesn’t trust us.
So if you have lost trust on a previous birth…. please
Pick a Doula you will trust and surrender to so you can work on:
Trusting your body.
Trusting your instincts.
Trusting your ability to make informed decisions.
Trusting yourself even when things feel uncertain.
I hope this love note leaves you feeling a little less afraid.
A little more hopeful.
And a lot more supported.
You do not have to walk this journey alone.
Ready to break up with your last birth and start a new relationship?
I’m here to be the new girl.
XOXO
Heidi