A Guide to Labor and Birth Tips for Partners
Guide for Partners
You play a major role! Learn more about what you can do as a
partner during pregnancy, through lab or, and in postpartum!
W r i t t e n b y S a r a h S h u g a r , D o u l a , w w w . S a r a h S h u g a r D o u l a . c o m
E d i t e d b y S a r i n a A b r a h a m , D o u l a , w w w . S w e e t W i l l o w B i r t h . c o m
PARTNER SUPPORT
Hi - Welcome! So.. your partner is pregnant and you’re feeling an array of emotions ranging from
ecstatic to terrified? You may be anxiously awaiting the day you get to meet your baby or
doubting your abilities to be a good parent or you may even feel slightly removed from the
experience because you aren’t the one growing a human inside you. That’s okay - you are not
alone! Many partners feel this way. I’m here to remind you that you are a very important piece of
the puzzle and play a major role during pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum. Parents who feel
supported and loved during pregnancy tend to feel less anxious and this can be a beautiful
opportunity to strengthen your bond as a couple. This is a guide to give you some ideas on how
to get involved and be a helpful, supportive, and nurturing partner throughout this journey!
First, take a deep breath - in - and - out -. Now you can dive in.
GETT ING INVOLVED DURING PREGNANCY
Attend a Childbirth Education Class
This is a great starting point for you to show your partner that you want to be involved and you
will learn invaluable information about childbirth in the process. It is also an amazing bonding
experience for the both of you and will give you the opportunity to meet other partners who may
be experiencing the same emotions as you.
Go to prenatal visits
Accompanying your partner to prenatal appointments will show that you’re invested in the health
of them and the baby. Bring a pen and notebook to keep track of any questions and answers that
arise as it may be overwhelming for your partner to remember eve rything when it’s about their
body.
Read books to prepare
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin will be your holy grail for learning about pregnancy and
childbirth and how to best support your partner. Check out this Book Recommendation Guide for
more.
Participate in lifestyle changes
Go on long walks, cut back on caffeine and alcohol, quit smoking, and cook healthy meals for you
and your partner. The changes you make now will continue on into parenthood and set good
examples for your child/children.
Give massages
As their bump grows so will the amount of aches in their body. Grab some natural massage oil,
like almond or coconut, and give them foot rubs or a complete body massage. Make a whole date
night of it - draw a bath with some essential oils like lavender or rose and follow it up with a nice
long massage for sweet loving touch.
Help buy baby equipment and set up the nursery
Buying baby items and setting up a nursery is a fun way to prepare for your baby’s arrival and
make everything seem all the more real. Delegate some tasks and make a list of things you’d like
to do together!
Pack a hospital bag
Baby brain is very real and your partner may forget some key items that you’ll want at the hospital
with you. Make a list together, there are plenty online for ideas, and have the bag packed in
advance. You never know if the baby will arrive early so it’s best to be prepared. A bag for your
partner, your baby, and you!
Buy a gift for your partner
It’s very common during this time for all the attention to be on the baby and all the gifts may be
onesies, swaddles, and nursery items. It’s important to show your gratitude towards the person
doing all the hard physical and mental work of carrying the baby and preparing for childbirth.
Whether you buy a piece of jewelry, go on a babymoon, or treat them to a romantic dinner they
will remember your kindness and it will be a representation of what is to come.
BE ING A SUPPORT THROUGH LABOR
Be present
During early labor, keep things light with your partner, go on long walks, give them a massage,
watch a movie, play games, or cook them a nourishing meal to help prepare for the hard work
ahead. In active labor, remain a steady and encouraging support for them. If you hold their hand
and tell them you love them and that they’re doing a great job - that is enough. You’d learn some
more techniques and reminders in a childbirth education class!
Hire a Doula
Having a Doula present can relieve some of the responsibilities and anxieties from you. If this is
your first time participating in childbirth you may get nervous that you’re not doing the right
thing, frightened for your partner who is experiencing pain, or even feel lightheaded and dizzy.
Your Doula will help guide you just as much as they guide your partner.
Practice comfort techniques
You probably learned various comfort techniques from reading books, in your childbirth
education class, or from your Doula. Now is the time to implement the double hip squeeze, slow
dancing, and back rubs. Ask your partner what feels good in the moment or watch them for cues.
HELP ING WITH POSTPARTUM
Help with feedings
If your partner is exclusively chest feeding, talk about the possibility of pumping some milk so
you can take turns feeding your baby. This will be especially helpful during those sleepless nights
when the baby feeds every few hours and will allow you to f eel like you have an important role in
feeding your baby. It is also extremely helpful if you pick your baby up and bring them to their
birth parent to chest feed and change their diaper afterwards. If using formula, still offer to take
turns with the feedings and keep many of the roles.
Bathe and change
A lot of responsibilities fall on the birth parent during the newborn days, especially if chest
feeding. They’re also recovering from a major life event, whether the baby was born vaginally or
by cesarean. It’s important for the birth parent to get lots of rest in the first few weeks. Help
them out by bathing and changing your baby, getting them pads and pain relieving aids like
padsicles.
Pick up other responsibilities around the house
While your partner is recovering and helping take care of your newborn, take this chance to
delegate the grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, and watching after older siblings if you have
them. Either take these responsibilities yourself, hire a postpartum Doula, or set up friends and
family for help so you and your partner have that much less to organize.
Go to the baby’s well visits
Just like you went to prenatal visits, it’s important to go to the baby’s well visits. Here you can
learn about the baby’s health and developmental milestones and ask questions you may have in
regards to being a parent to a newborn.
One Last Thing
Remember that throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period each day looks different and
your partner’s needs will vary. Communicate openly, have compassion for one another, and give
yourself grace.
X O X O
H e i d i , S a r a h , & S a r i n a